Prussia and Fanfics
by KleineVogel
Summary: Prussia finds a website that can help him sort out who his favorite pairing stories are. not meant to insult any of your favorite pairings! For pure amusement, human names used, um... guy x guy? And obviously Prussia. rating up for cursing
1. Chapter 1

Warnings: male/male other wise known as yaoi. um... hinted at 'more' .... oh yah utter nonsense (I think?)

Disclaimer: I DO NO OWN HETALIA, obviously if I did Prussia would be in every episode.

threat?: against my beta's wishes all of this is going as one giant piece. Might have more later- probably will- Prussia's list is not finished

idea: this came from me creating my own list of Hetalia favorite pairings- there's actually a site that will sort them out for you!!

* * *

"Hey west guess what I found?!"

Germany didn't look up from his work, didn't make a sound of acknowledgement. He hoped if he kept acting like he didn't hear the person that just entered the room would just leave. Don't look at the problem.

"Ludwig!" The shout was way too close to his ear. Ludwig flinched and rubbed his ear looking up at his brother. "Oh good I have your attention." The former nation of Prussia grinned and proceeded to lean against, half sit on the desk. "Guess what I found."

Germany shrugged, he didn't want to guess. Knowing his brother it was something crazy anyway. As long as it didn't take up more space in his house, or yard, or garage he was okay with it.

"You're no fun," Prussia complained his red eyes narrowing glaring as his brother. "But I'll tell you anyway." The foul mood was shrugged off just as easily as it had come and Gilbert pulled held out several sheets of paper. "Look at this!"

Ludwig glanced at the paper, he wasn't sure if he wanted to touch it. Though it only seemed to be lists, not like other things Prussia had found while poking around on the internet. Hesitantly he took the papers and raised a brow at what the list contained. "What is this exactly bruder?" He asked and pointed at the second listing, "And what does that mean by Prussia x Germany?"

"I found a site where I could pick my favorite pairings! Your number two Ludwig!" Prussia exclaimed grinning.

"Pairings?" Germany said slowly. Oh no it WAS one of those things again.

"Oh you know you love germancest" Gilbert laughed grabbing the papers before Germany could proceed to shred them.

"I do not sleep with my own brother," Ludwig all but growled the word. He was half afraid to go to sleep at nights that Gilbert would pop up in his bed to 'act out' one of these stories.

"Come now, you know we both have a bondage kink," Prussia laughed again at the look on Germany's face. Still laughing he stood and waved the papers, "I have to show some more people, oh and you do make the list again, you and Italy, you guys are cute together," he left grinning, barely containing his laughter at how red his brother's face was.

* * *

"Hey Specs!"

Austria mentally sighed, there went his peaceful afternoon. He glanced up at the clock, it was two… Prussia was earlier than usual. He sighed aloud this time and resumed playing. Hopefully he'd just sit and talk about himself. Hopefully he didn't have any of those blast fanfictions on him. Though Austria was sure that was how he kept bargaining with Hungary to get inside his home.

"Read," was the sharp demand as a set of sheets was shoved in Austria's face. A familiar mop of silver white hair appeared on his shoulder. "It's nothing nasty this time, just look at number one on the list" Warm breath tickled his hair and Roderich grabbed the papers as he shoved the head away.

"Prussia x Austria?" It took a moment for the implication to sink in. Austria blushed and glared at Prussia. "What is this list?" he asked sure it involved those stories Gilbert kept finding online.

"My favorite pairings!" Prussia said snatching the papers back, "You know you make a great uke Roddy." He smirked leaning in closer to Austria. Austria's blush increased, he didn't even know what a 'uke' was but for some reason it he couldn't make eye contact with Gilbert after that statement.

Sensing Roderich's discomfort Prussia moved in closer to make it worse. He straddled the piano bench pulling Roderich closer to him. "Seeee?" he teased and promptly received a shove and Austria leaving the bench. Gilbert just laughed and stood up. "Okay I have to go, more people to inform. The story I gave Hungary won't last much longer. And she's probably ready to bash my head in, but it has the awesome me in it. I couldn't resist giving it to her." Prussia said walking over to Austria again. A slap on the behind and he was off again. He couldn't resist making the situation even more uncomfortable for Roderich.

* * *

"Canada!"

Canada looked up surprised that someone was actually looking for him. He was often forgotten. Hearing the shout again he actually smiled. It was Prussia, probably here to bug him for more pancakes and maple syrup. "I am upstairs," he called in return, though his voice was hardly any louder than usual.

"There you are," Prussia said wandering into the Canadian's office, "You hide to much."

"I am unable to make you pancakes right now," Matthew said his voice if anything becoming softer.

"That's fine my awesome self isn't here for those right now," Gilbert said shoving a paper into Matthew's face, "You made the top four on my list," he said proudly.

"Top four?" Canada said attempting to decipher the list. He understood the partner listing thing. America often showed him the same thing. Well the fictions. He, like Prussia, enjoyed the ones portraying him as the hero. Though Matthew had to admit Gilbert found more disturbing ones. The guy really did have a thing for violence and… what did he call it? Smut?

"Yah, see right there, Prussia x Canada!" Gilbert said pointing to the line. He promptly folded the paper sticking it in his pocket not letting Canada read the rest of it. He had managed to catch a glimpse of the ones above him. It looked like Austria had won; Matthew did not envy the guy there. Who ever won probably meant had Prussia around their home the most.

Canada just nodded not wanting to sate how embarrassing this was. Obviously Prussia had taken the trouble of compiling a list of which partners he liked stories of himself with, and it was rather kind of him to remember him but… still. "Thank you?" he said still confused on how he should be taking this news.

Prussia winked at him, "don't worry next time we can act out the newest story I found," he said before leaving a blushing Canada behind. Matthew stared at his paper work suddenly afraid of words on paper.

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should I continue with who is on Prussia's list? I think I should... Review if you agree- or disagree.


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings: male/male other wise known as yaoi. um... hinted at 'more' .... oh yah utter nonsense (I think?)

Disclaimer: I DO NO OWN HETALIA, obviously if I did Prussia would be in every episode.

threat?: uh... yah, not telling those of you who have asked who three is yet! Don't worry they'll come along soon enough as well as the other numbers I skip.

* * *

Prussia looked at his list, well that was three of the top five… the next visits wouldn't be as much fun. Wait number five might be good… though while he was across the ocean might as well finish taking care of this side.

"Oi America," Prussia said waltzing into the office. Unfortunately it was empty. Confused he went around the desk and saw the note that America was over in England. Prussia grinned perfect, he had to go there still!

* * *

"England!"

England felt like smashing his face against the wall. First America had shown up today now Prussia. What had he done for fate to hate him like this? The American was much happier to see him throwing an arm about Prussia's shoulders.

"What is it that you require of the hero?!" he asked for once not having some type of food in his hand.

"Look at this!" Prussia said shoving the paper up into Alfred's face.

Alfred grabbed it found his name on the list then complained loudly, "Why am I number seven? I'm the hero my name should be first and at the top!"

Prussia grabbed back the sheets before any marks could be made to it, "I'm awesome so I top so my name is first" he said shoving the paper in England's face.

"Where's England on the list? I bet he's lower than my number seven slot." America bragged.

"Number six ha America. Wait… I'm on here twice… Gilbert why am I on here twice?" England said scowling. Prussia grabbed back the paper grinning. He fell onto the couch next to Arthur draping an arm around his shoulders. "Well when you were a pirate you're a whole lot more fun and different than you are now. Obviously America is your semi."

England stared at Prussia unable to say anything. America made a grab for the list wanting to see. Prussia promptly stuffed the paper into his pocket. "So who's up to creating new fanfictions?" he asked winking at America.

Prussia found himself tossed out the door, America shortly after him. As he turned around to shout some injustice at England the door slammed in his face. A brightly red faced Brit was on the other side he was sure, probably leaning against the door. Most likely thinking of what could have been.

"It's your fault we were kicked out, hero's never get kicked out" America said still seated on the ground.

Prussia shrugged, "He's just afraid of my five meters," he said headed down the drive. He still had more people to see. America watched before banging on England's door trying to get back in. Of course if all else failed the hero would find another way in.

* * *

"Italia!"

"Ve~?" Italy replied looking around confused.

Prussia snaked his arms around Italy's waist making the other country jump. "What we cooking?" he asked resting his chin on the other's shoulder.

"Pasta," Italy replied relaxing visibly once he realized it was Germany's brother. "You want some pasta too?"

"I only want to show you this," Prussia said pulling Italy away from the stove. It wouldn't do well for one of them to drop it into the boiling water. Prussia then proceeded to turn Italy around, push him into a chair (resulting into a slightly dazed Italy), and shove the list into his face. "See number 8!" Gilbert exclaimed proudly.

Italy tilted his head to the side, "Ve?" he said looking at the list. He attempted to take it from Prussia's hands but just as quick as it had been shoved in his face the list was gone again. "Number eight of what Prussia?"

"My list of awesome pairings!" Prussia replied crossing his arms pouting slightly that Italy was not so excited about making his list.

"Oh! Thank you Gilbert!" Velincino said standing and hugging Prussia. "Is Dotsu on the list as well?"

Prussia hugged Italy back, gah this country was just too damn cute. Not as awesome as him but cute. "Sure is, number 2!" he said, "You and Germany made the list again farther down as well." He said grinning.

Italy pulled back smiling, "I want to be closer to Dotsu on Prussia's list of awesome. What do I have to do?" he asked. Prussia blinked and grinned, what a stroke of luck there. Before he could reply a slight bubbling noise followed by hissing had the Italian scrambling from Prussia. "My Pasta!" Italy yelled pulling away and running back to the stove.

Prussia just laughed, "I'll be back later for some pasta and show you exactly what you can do" he said before leaving. Italy barely heard him fretting over his pasta.

* * *

"Knew I'd find you in a bar!" Prussia said falling onto the stool next to Denmark. He ordered a drink for himself before turning to look at the country. "I've got something to show you, and no, it's not my five meters"

Denmark downed the rest of his beer, "What do you want?" he asked not hearing a word Gilbert had just said. It was more convenient to just drown the guy out when he spoke. Prussia just grinned and handed him a paper. "What the hell?"

"Number nine right there on the list." Prussia replied grabbing his beer that just arrived and downing half of it.

"No way, my powers in bed are too great to be so low on a list." Denmark objected, "And I'm defiantly on top." He looked around for a pin for him to fix the stupid list. Denmark had been prepared for Prussia to pop in; Germany called earlier warning him to lock his doors for the next week. But he had been interested in seeing who Prussia wanted to bed.

Prussia snatched back the list still grinning anyway, "In your dreams Danmark." He replied stuffing it into his pocket again. Denmark was tempted to go after it and still make the changes. Prussia downed the rest of his beer. "At least you're higher than Sweden right?"

Denmark nodded turning to order himself another drink, then paused. What the hell? He was agreeing that being higher on this bastard's list was better? Denmark turned to yell at Prussia that he didn't damn well care where he was on his stupid list. He'd never bed the ex-nation in the first place. Unfortunately Prussia was already out the door cackling that Denmark wanted to sleep with him.

* * *

Yah don't shoot me over the list!

I'm afraid the rating might jump when ever I get to France.... .

review! I might put up more then!


	3. Chapter 3

Just to point this out- I don't own Hetalia.

Please review? (They make me happy)

* * *

Prussia grinned despite the gun in his face, "Just take a peek at this list and I swear I'm outta here," he said holding up the list most countries had learned to fear. The blond holding the pistol in the awesome face of Gilbert spared a glance at the seemingly harmless sheet. "I won't even go near Lichtenstein," He promised crossing his heart with his free hand.

Vash frowned but reached out to take the paper. It would be simpler to just shoot the annoyance but he had to admit he was curious what this list way. Especially for Gilbert to be trespassing on his property for it.

Gilbert quickly moved as the paper was grabbed, he was sure once Switzerland saw the paper and got his understanding he'd be shot. And where was the fun in standing still making it easy for the guy? An uneasy glance was spared towards him, but once he made it clear he wasn't running off just yet the attention returned to the paper. "Number ten," he said standing far too close for Vash's comfort. Once he was sure the nation had seen it Prussia grabbed his list back. "Look at that you were able to crack my top ten on favorite pairings," he crackled seeing Switzerland's stunned look.

Switzerland knew what Prussia was talking about, and was horrified at the thought. But at least it cleared up the mystery of who had sent his sister those e-mails. Unfortunately as soon as the first shots were fired in the direction where the Prussian had been standing the man was off and laughing.

* * *

"Comrade"

Gilbert jumped as two arms wrapped around him. Yes he enjoyed jumping others, loved it depending on the person. But having this draped about him? Not so much…

"I heard you wanted to become one with me."

Prussia looked at the head resting on his shoulder in confusion. Then it dawned on him. Russia heard about the lists. "No, you're not on the list. Well not with the awesome me," he wrestled a hand free shoving the paper into Ivan's face. "See, not there, not even close to the top."

Ivan pulled away taking the page with him a frown marring his face for a second. "We can change that," he said the smile returning.

"Wait don't you want to see who your actually with?" Gilbert interjected, torn between getting his list back and running before Ivan went crazy on him. He was relieved to see Russia actually looking over the list instead of ruining it.

"I see me with America, did Alfred see this?"

Gilbert laughed, "No besides its low on the list. Not as low as Lithuania and Poland," Prussia began to grumble to himself about flukes and transvestites which Russia happily ignored returning to the list. It's not needed to say but Gilbert was rather angry that pairing even made it to his list at all, even if it was pathetically low on it. It shouldn't be there at all!

"Russia… Belarus? Y-you want me to be with Sister?!" Russia cried looking around as if saying such would summon her. He quickly grabbed Gilbert in the same motion as if to use the smaller male as a shield. Gilbert was suddenly torn between comforting the now trembling giant and laughing. Awkwardly he patted Ivan's arm before attempting to free himself again (and getting his paper back in the process).

"Uh… she's not here," Gilbert said. Upon seeing the Russian brighten up and himself free Gilbert quickly created distance and added, "Yet." He gleefully cackled the usually chant of marry marry marry, until he was grabbed and again used a shield against an invisible Natalia.

* * *

Prussia smiled headed to Spain's place. He had escaped the Russian a while back; okay more of helped Ivan hide then make up a hasty lie that he was leading Belarus away. He was glad it had worked. Though it was a bit worrisome when Russia realized he was lying… oh well he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. No point in worrying now. Still smiling he knocked on Spain's door… then walked on in.

"Antonio!" he called. Gilbert was rewarded with an object flying towards him. Surprised he still managed to avoid it (ha look at my awesomeness). He stared at the person who threw it, who obviously was not the Spaniard he was looking for. "Romano! Haha where's Spain?" he asked.

South Italy, or rather Romano (or is it Lovino? Ah well), ignored him looking for another thing within easy reach to throw at the intruding nation. "Stupid other potato bastard, the potato bastard called and warned about you list" he said settling on tossing the picture hanging on the wall at Prussia. The ex-nation jumped back avoiding getting hit again, and wondering why Spain hadn't nailed down everything in his house yet.

"Yeah, you're on the list too, not just Spain" Gilbert said grinning as he saw the other turn red. "Here look" he quickly walked over to the other glad for the lack of objects to suddenly throw.

Romano took a hasty glance at the list, and then proceeded to glare at Prussia as if that would get his name off the thing. Gilbert enjoying his look failed to notice the brunette reaching for the one thing left on the counter. "Sure it's number 11 and lower than your brother but farther down is you and Spain, of course you with the awesome me is better. But anything is better with me i-" Gilbert was cut off as a tomato was smashed into his face.

* * *

Okay thanks for reading, next chapter should be the last... unless people start mentioning to me pairings that I haven't thought of.


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright, you know the drill- I don't own Hetalia, I don't own the characters, this is a work for fun, I make no profit. **

**Read, review, and above all enjoy yourself!**

* * *

Gilbert sank into the booth with a sigh; he could still feel tomato in his hair. Sure there was nothing left up there, but it still felt like the weird fruit… vegetable… fruit… whatever was in his hairline. The list was placed on the table as next to him the cushion sank again with the presence of another person.

"What is it mon ami?" France asked eagerly putting an arm around his friend's shoulders. Across from them Spain slid into the booth as well. Prussia grabbed the drink the Spaniard had brought with him before leaning into the blond.

"People should be excited about being on my awesome list," he complained picking up the papers again pushing them in Francis's face, "See? This means I deem you worthy of my awesome." He sipped the drink knowing Spain had already run off to get a replacement.

"Am I really that bad without Antonio present?" Francis asked after looking over the whole list. Gilbert shrugged still snuggled into his friend's side.

"Bad at what without me?" the Spanish man in question asked as he sat down again determined to keep his drink out of his friends' hands this time.

"In bed mon ami," Francis cleared up handing over the sheets. "Together we are ranked number five, but separately I am a depressing fifteen and you sixteen."

"Hungary?" Spain looked up from the sheet, "Hungary is your number three?" Green eyes blinked owlishly, "And Lovi is on your list. How is Lovi on your list?"

Gilbert sat up grabbing the list before more questions could be asked, "Because it's more fun to have the countries of love and passion in bed together, once you have them apart it's so much less fun." He pointed out finishing the drink.

"Ah, we spoil you," Francis laughed still playing leech to his friend. Gilbert grinned trying to grab Antonio's other drink. He pouted as Spain finished it rather than letting him have a chance of grabbing it.

"So what will you do now?" asked Spain setting the empty glass down.

"Well obviously, I'm going to go award the winner. It was a contest obviously, and I was the prize," Gilbert said finally pushing Francis away. His friends laughed, "Isn't Roderich the luckiest guy in the world right now? He just won an awesome prize~" Gilbert boasted ordering drinks for the three of them.

"So the telling of everyone?" Francis asked slipping to the other side of the booth.

"To see if anyone would object to their location… besides Ivan." All three shuttered, "And then see if any would try to win the awesome me over. But they obviously Roddy is the winner."

Spain and France raised their glasses, "To Austria, for winning," they toasted and drank while silently thanking God that it wasn't them. Opposite the Prussian downed his drink very proud of his genius idea.

"Will you finish telling everyone on the list?" Francis asked as he set his glass down.

"Nah, I'll hand the list over to Liz when I take Roddy. It should distract her long enough to keep the cameras away." Prussia looked over the list, "Unless you think I should, I mean I should grace everyone with my awesome…"

"Non, I think you shouldn't keep Roderich waiting," France said, thinking of all the damage to relationships Gilbert had already caused. And he really didn't want anyone else after his friend's head.

Gilbert nodded in agreement finishing off his drink, "Well, I'm off. You're right I shouldn't keep the winner waiting for their prize any longer!" And with that Gilbert was off again.

"How am I going to explain this to Lovi?" Antonio finally asked looking at Francis, "And when was he with Gil?"

Francis just laughed and hugged his friend to him, "We shall see your adorable Italian together mon ami~"

* * *

**I'm calling this an end folks! Yeah, I know after a year of waiting this ending is horrible but I have new works I wish to focus on. So I decided to just wrap this one up.  
**

**Unless there's something to inspire me to write out more pairings... or the revisit to Austria...**

**Review, look at my other works, etc. Thanks for reading!**


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